Boys with big hearts

 


In my younger years, I imagined that I would have a daughter or daughters to raise and dress. When pregnant for Big Brother I started to get scared that it would be a girl and had my heart set on a boy. Memories of all I had done to torture my parents came to mind. Sneaking out, stealing their cars and then crying to get out of it, staying out late and hiding at my grandma’s to save my hide. Well, I got my wish and the fears of chasing a teenage daughter out windows and away from boys vanished.

Then the second boy came along and I thought to myself, this will be alright. I am already trained to deflect streams of pee, am fluent in cars language and all things hidden in mud. Well, I wasn’t prepared.

Little Brother is the most boyish boy child you will EVER meet. Well that I’ve ever met. You see, with Big Brother he spent a lot of his first years with me and my girlfriends. At the time I was the only one with a child in our group so he went everywhere with us. Dinner he would be the main man, shopping he was the entertainment, car rides he would give us our cue to stop for a bathroom break or meal. His dad was away a lot for work then. Sometimes only being home two days a week so my girlfriends had a great influence on those first years. He was holding doors open for ladies at age two and telling women they were beautiful by three.

Now Little Brother’s upbringing has been with his dad and his older brother leading the way. All my girlfriends except two have their own families now so we plan to hang out without the kids, which ends up few and far between. So Little Brother has only known a household where the boys outnumber the one girl. He’s rough, loud, dangerous, sweet, ruins clothes, testy, breaks stuff (I’m talking TVs and Playstations), he sleeps with hard metal hot wheel cars and not a teddy bear. Big Brother was quiet, playful, soft-spoken, got into trouble but sweet-talked his way around it and well he just seemed a whole lot easier!

The one thing I’m glad they share is their big hearts. At a young age Big Brother had an enormous amount of empathy for people. Elders he would see alone at the mall or any place where they seem alone he would just be drawn to them. He would introduce himself and shake their hand. He would seek out someone who seemed sad and when he’d walk away from them they’d be smiling. Little kids at the park he would help up those tricky ladders or steps. Whenever he saw a kid outside a store who was crying for a quarter for the gum machine he’d ask us for a quarter and then we’d watch as he’d hand it to the other kid and leave.

The most memorable thing though was when our family had gone to a big city. There was a homeless man sitting on the sidewalk. We’ve all done it; you don’t make eye contact and try to walk past as quickly as you can. Big Brother stopped dead in his tracks and turned around. He asked the man, “What happened? Are you ok?” The man said yes and that he’d messed up and this is where he ended up. Big Brother hugged him. I’ll admit inside I cringed. Thinking my boy could get lice and how I could smell the man from where I stood. Then he said to the man, “You’ll be ok, I know you will. Have a good day.” I was speechless.

My son made someone who felt invisible smile.  I want to believe that people are born to look out for each other, and sadly as we grow up we learn to shun others. Look the other way and even ignore those who need our help.  I don’t think Big Brother will ever gain that with age. He’s seven now and still goes through his clothes and toys and makes me find someone who needs it – a family member or family from Akwesasne. He’s taught these values to Little Brother.

Of course a two-year old isn’t exactly the poster child for sharing and caring, but Little Brother gets it. He too finds elders and pretty much harasses a hug or smile out of them. He’s the rougher one so he’s the protector. Nobody can pick on cousins because he’ll attack. I can’t raise my voice to Big Brother when he doesn’t listen, because Little Brother will run up to me and tell me, “Don’t!” Then he runs and hugs his brother like the hero. For example, if Big Brother is running around at someone’s house and I turn up my volume for him to slow down or stop, I’ll hear little feet running at me full speed to scold me. I guess I can let half the times they lose their listening ears slide because I love boys with big hearts.

 

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