Indian Time - A Voice from the Eastern Door

I have been told and have passed along the saying myself, “Don’t make plans when you have kids,” or is it, “You can’t make plans when you have little ones.” I’m not sure, all I know is both apply to me and my mom friends. I do not mean this in a negative sense. It’s a hard and solid fact of life as a mother. I have made plans in the last year to go to Las Vegas with my old (they’re not old in age, I’ve just know them forever) girlfriends for a weekend of relaxation and fun only to have Big Brother bring home the stomach flu and give it to his Little Brother.

The guilt of leaving behind my precious monsters while they were sick was short lived because I too came down with the bug along with strep throat and an ear infection. The travel insurance I paid on my plane ticket was the best twenty dollars I have ever spent. I did not make it and those old mom sayings rang in my ears along with the sounds of gagging and spewing that was my cue to clean up after someone. It was as if Murphy’s Law gave me a reality check. Just when I am truly finally ready and willing to leave the boys, I didn’t go.

Have you ever seen those super busy moms on TV who seem to get so much done? Well, I know what happens behind the scenes in real life. I try to get tons done but am honestly satisfied with keeping them fed, bathed, having fun being kids, the dishes, playing cars with them and reading them bedtime stories.  I am one of the real moms who had to cook cupcakes for their child’s class twice because she burnt the first batch. Yeah I was distracted by my toddler punching a brand new plasma TV and breaking it before we even threw out the box just as I was cleaning up a clogged toilet. I was really proud when my baby boy was potty trained by two, but I will admit grabbing a roll of toilet paper bare handed out of the toilet to save my bathrooms’ second floor was not one of my proudest moments. So while trying to avoid another child induced mini flood I didn’t realize that annoying beeping was the timer for the darn cupcakes and that laundry I just pulled out of the dryer ended up smelling like burnt...well some burnt food! Sadly, the second batch of cupcakes didn’t make it for snack day either because while mommy was in the shower the super stealthy and sneaky two year old took the plate full of cupcakes onto mommy’s bed with its just washed blankets and ate a few but mashed the rest into the comforter. He didn’t get them on mommy’s clothes I guess he didn’t want to ruin my outfit for that day because he had special plans for it.  Fast forward to the afternoon. You know what snowballs are right? Well Little Brother decided it would be awesome to throw a few MUD balls at mommy while she weeded the garden. Don’t worry I’ll pay him back in about 14 years when he asks for the keys to my car.

Back to getting stuff done...of course there are ways to get everything done that you set out to do on a certain day. I tell myself those are my freebies because with my kind of luck and Murphy’s Law as my best friend I almost have to wait for the repercussion of a hassle free, illness free, to-do-list one day.  If I have to go to work or be at an appointment one or both boys will be sick or end up with that one coinciding day off. Now I know why people seem so surprised when they see me without my kids. It probably looks like I never leave them except work or random getaways to visit friends. When really I am my own back up babysitter so I’d rather lug them to a scheduled appointment or meeting instead of miss and wait to reschedule.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my crazy boys and internally celebrate small successes such as getting a filling with a 2-year-old on my lap or grocery shopping with my boys plus three hyper kids and not forget anything! My greatest mom success to date was Christmas shopping with my kids in tow and still having them believe Santa brought their toys! Yes, I lied to them, sue me. In my defense the Santa at the mall this past year was perfectly believable! Geez, now that must be where Little Brother gets his sneakiness.

To get around the days that the boys don’t have or cannot attend school due to illness I try to organize a babysitter at least two days ahead. If I am not supposed to be anywhere I will just stay home parked on the couch with them watching old reruns of Tom & Jerry. Thankfully I have my mom, mother and sister in law for help on the weekends and emergencies. Today I had to take Little Brother to the doctor’s and just as I was dropping Big Brother off at school he said he had a sore throat. My heart dropped, I was already bummed that one of my main men were sick. But I had a gut feeling he was just saying so since he thought Little Brother and I were off to have this fun day because I didn’t bring him to daycare.  Big Brother got off the bus at home healthy and happy so my mother’s intuition must have been spot on today! I’m not great at a lot of things but I am ok at motherhood. While I don’t claim to know it all I will say I have the best teachers and together we are just learning life’s lessons.