Indian Time - A Voice from the Eastern Door

Hey, my big brother,

Man it’s been 18 years since I last laid eyes on your angel face!  One would think this gets easier but I can’t see how!  Family members say my son looks like you!  His face lights up when he hears them crying and that look in his eye’s like it’s his job to fix it, is the same look you gave me growing up!  I can see happiness in mom and dad’s eyes when they watch him play but at the same time deep sadness as they remember you when you were his age doing the same thing!  Mom and I came across a Pound Puppy plush dog this Christmas.  I remembered that cartoon was one of your favorites.  It’s been hard growing you up in my mind when our yearly pictures are aging and yours are not!  I fixed up your site, it was hard to bring myself there, to see over grown grass and weeds upset me instead of giving me peace.  I hope you like it!  I’m not done, I want to plant tulips and raise your stone...man your site is so little.  Someone told us you came here to teach us each a lesson and went back when you were done, well you taught me how to love our sisters, love our parents, the importance of safety while playing, the value of friendship, how to laugh, always continue to learn to figure things out without giving up, to be strong and brave for your younger siblings and so much more.  That’s a lot you passed on to me for the young 9 year old boy that you were!  One morning I seen an elderly sister fixing pancakes for her older brother at her house and I caught my self thinking “Aww, that’s so cute I wish I had a brother so I could do that when we got older!”  Then your little face popped into my mind, I remembered I did have a brother but we would never be able to do that!  I busted into tears.  This is so unfair to have you for five years then live the rest of my life with out you.  It just hurts so much.  It helps when people talk about you, they share stories of you and then, no surprise that they are all funny and sweet!  Well, I better get going now and I want you to know you’re not forgotten and always welcomed into my dreams as often as possible.  Take care of my baby, I was told I would have had a girl so I named her “Amanda” and tell her I love her too!

 Love you always and forever,

Your little sister Chelsea