One of the things the fire department used to do was put on a picnic for the members and their families. Sometimes this was a small event with everyone getting together for a barbeque and sometimes it was a huge event with lots of organized activities. One year it was just that, a huge event put together by the members and the ladies auxiliary. It was held on one of the islands and a lot of planning went into just getting everyone there.

It was a beautiful Sunday and there was a small flotilla of boats leaving from one of the marinas to transport everyone across the river. There were horseshoe pits, a volleyball net and tons of food to keep everyone occupied. The volleyball court turned out to be the busiest event with just about everyone competing.

It was down to the final (or grudge match, there was nothing formalized) and the teams were getting really competitive. One team may have been getting inebriated, it was a day off after all. One of the larger members of the fire department was remarkably agile and was pulling off an upset over the Firefighter’s kid’s team, of which I was a member.

We were trying everything but you can’t make up for in youth and skill what you lack in height. Add to that a clearly biased line judge and we were getting creamed. We got in a couple of good volleys and one stray shot that looked like it was going out of bounds but then was clearly fair. This is when the rather large Firefighter took one for the team and dove at it making a remarkable save that was squandered by his amazed teammates who let it drop.

Suddenly laughter overtook the court as people started pointing at this rather large Firefighter getting up. What they were pointing at was a pair of shorts with the seam blown out right from front to back. Our hero was a man of good humor and clever wit who shook it off and headed for cover. As he did he let out a yell “Does anyone have a spare pair of size 54 shorts!?” This was followed by a bought of laughter by the improbability and ludicrousness of that question.

Then total silence ensued as another member of the fire department responded with a “Yeah! I do!” It wasn’t possible, in fact it was inconceivable that someone could have a spare pair of shorts in that size. But sure enough there was. Another large Firefighter produced a spare pair of shorts from his boat and provided it to his fellow Firefighter.

With a towel ensuring his privacy our hero grabbed the spare pair of shorts and headed out on the river with his boat. He found a desolate section of marsh and changed from mild mannered wardrobe malfunction victim back to volleyball superstar. He came back standing in his boat triumphant in his victory over the odds.

However, no one could keep a straight face when the volleyball game resumed and the Firefighter team’s previous domination over the Firefighter kid’s team fell apart. The crack in the armor was all it took for us kids to make a comeback and take the game. That and our totally biased line judge might have been seeing double by then. It was a good day and quite memorable.