Indian Time - A Voice from the Eastern Door

Am I an addict? Am I addicted to my smartphone? I made a comment to my daughter about being on her phone too much. Her reply to me, “You’re on your phone all the time, too”. This really got me. I began to seriously think about this. Am I addicted to my phone?”

You probably already know the symptoms –

Feeling anxious whenever you do not have your phone in your physical possession.

Constantly checking the phone for new texts, coupled with the compulsion to respond immediately.

Did you feel that? Your phone just vibrated, and you felt it. Yet looking at the phone, you realize it’s a false alarm. Phantom cellphone vibration syndrome is real, and it’s a symptom of addiction.

You’re not listening. In fact, you have no idea what the person in front of you is talking about. Why? Because you keep checking your Facebook page, tweets and texts.

You or your child is failing in School. Poor grades can often be blamed on using the smartphone in classes. There are apps that block social media which may help.

Running to the store for 30 minutes and halfway there you realize you forgot your phone and you MUST turn around to get it.

Your child is trying to get your attention and you keep asking her or him to wait while not taking your eye off your phone.

You let your child and or teenager text, message, and or play games while eating dinner at home or dining out. Anytime, all day, just so you don’t have to deal with them. This reinforces everything you are trying to break away from.

If checking and rechecking your phone comes as naturally to you as breathing, or if you feel anxious or restless any time your phone is not on or near you, you may have a technology addiction. Offered here are some suggestion to take control of your smartphone.

Make a public statement that you’re going to do so. This second part is key; warn your parents and friends that they shouldn’t take it personally when you don’t text them back or like their picture right away. This will allow you to actually relax, no longer in fear of offending anyone who expects you to be “on all the time”. Once you announce to the world that you’re only going to check your phone once a half hour then you allow yourself a minute or two every half hour to check in, return a call, text back, check Facebook and then turn it off and put it away. Then perhaps get bold and go up to an hour. Then perhaps two hours, in an attempt to eventually make the phone less like the limb it has become and more like the really cool device it could be.

Since my smartphone intervention I have learned that being a servant to my device actually hurts rather than helps me. I used to spend my evening constantly checking email and Facebook and eBay and getting no time to unwind from the day and so go into the next busy day fatigued by disturbed sleep. So what do I do? Unless there is a mega high-priority project, I stop checking my phone at 9 pm (Walking Dead comes on a 9pm). And I’ve asked my family to stop texting by 10pm and not at all on Sunday nights, see above). In addition, during the weekend, I force myself to take a break. While sometimes I ignore my rules (again, there can be very urgent things going on) I limit myself to checking text messages, Facebook, and email morning, noon and night. This ensures that I can keep up with any developments while also getting time for my hobbies, errands and general weekend refresh.

For business and the work place; unless you work in a social service oriented workplace, you don’t need your cell phone at work. Try establishing smartphone-free hours during the workweek and the weekend to get a break from work. Limit your “email check” to three times per day: morning, noon and night.

GOAL: Control your device. Do not let it control you.

1. NO texting while driving. Make this a RULE! This is not only for you, but also for the benefit and safety of others. If you need to text -- do it before or after you drive. Risking your life just to give a quick response is beyond foolish.

2. No phone in the bathroom. Seriously? You can’t wait a few minutes to go into the most private room known to humans? If nothing else, consider the vast amounts of germs crawling on your phone. You may wash your hands, but it defeats the purpose as soon as you start handling that now dirty, germ-riddled phone. Plus, who on the other end likes to hear a toilet flush?

3. When you step up to the counter to either order or check-out, put the phone down and take care of business. There are customers behind you and they don’t want to hear whatever. This is especially true in the Express Lane.

4. No phone use during sex…… Really? No, I’m not going to explain why not. Just don’t do it.

5. When going to bed, no more falling asleep while staring at your screen. I know it’s fun to tweet, keep up with friends and family on Facebook and buy things on eBay just before closing your eyes, but we’re trying to overcome an addiction here. Shut it down and get some shuteye. Oh, and turn off the iPad and laptop -- completely off -- before falling asleep. You do NOT need to check for messages at 4 a.m. while going to the bathroom.

6. When you’re with friends, if you still have people you talk to face to face, turn your phone off. No, not on vibrate. OFF. It’s okay. Nothing bad will happen and you won’t miss out on a once-in-a-lifetime chance. Each time you do this, it will become easier.

7. If you’re on a date, come to a mutual agreement that you each will only check your phones every 90 minutes, at the same time and for 5 minutes max.

8. Finally, last but not least, when you’re able to manage the above without suffering a panic attack, shortness of breath or dizziness, then try leaving the phone at home.

9. At meetings and business lunches keep your phone where it belongs: out of sight. You (or whoever called the meeting) should be the center of attention. A well respected business woman I was talking to explained that at her company she has set up a rule that no one brings their phones out in internal meetings unless there is a truly life-or-death situation. In addition, this very busy professional and successful woman explained that when she goes to business lunches her phone stays firmly where it belongs: out of sight.

Do not IM in a meeting. If you get caught having a “meeting within a meeting” you will look unprofessional and potentially un-trustworthy (are you “talking” behind someone else’s back?).

Mute your phone during office hours. Let people know they should call or email you at work rather than text you.

10. Eating. Same as #9. Whether you are eating a snack, breakfast, lunch, dinner or dessert, at home, in a restaurant, or visiting Aunt Nora. Do not bring your phone out; shut it off or at least turn it to vibrate. Exceptions? Dining alone or in a café.

Here are the numbers on “Nomophobia” – the fear of being without your smartphone and it at least affects 55% of the population.

56 percent of all Americans own one (link is external). The phone, computer, tablet and other high tech devices have become not just an object, but for many a best friend.

A recently released study indicated one in ten participants admitted to having used their phone during sex. As far as young adults, ages 18 to 34, make that one in five -- 20 percent.

12 percent use their beloved devices in the shower.

Worse still, more than 50 percent acknowledged they still text while driving, despite the fact that this is six times more dangerous than driving drunk and is illegal.

This is not a problem just in the US, either. According to research, 41 percent of Britons feel anxious and not in control when detached from their smartphone or tablet and 51% admitted to suffering from “extreme tech anxiety “ at one time or another.

According to another poll, 70 percent of women have phone separation anxiety, as opposed to 61 percent of men. The anxiety revolving around smartphones (or lack thereof) is very real. We consider the smartphone an extension of ourselves, a best friend, even a soul mate. So the loss can be similar to losing a best friend.

There is good news…

Remember when smoking was allowed in restaurants? The same thing seems to be happening to the cellphone. Have you noticed that certain areas are now displaying “No cell phone use” signs? It’s because common courtesy is often thrown out the window when we’re on the phone. We don’t want to hear about Aunt Jennie’s new boy toy, Tota’s new fishing pole or our neighbor’s sister’s boyfriend who needs bail money.

Restaurants are answering the demand and enforcing a “no cell policy”, aka “Quiet Zones”, even offering discounts for patrons who leave their cellphone with the receptionist. Some airports are now offering lounges that are cellphone free. Just like with cigarettes, the cellphone pendulum is beginning to swing.

Anything can be abused, even the smartphone. As our culture becomes ever more tech savvy and tech hungry, phone-free zones will become more and more common. Hopefully.