Cumalitive Grief - An Akwesasne Must-Read
Submitted by Wholistic Health and Wellness
Several deaths in a short period of time can lead to bereavement overload or cumulative grief. It occurs when there is no time or opportunity for an individual or community to completely or adequately grieve for each person who has died.
Grief is a natural, normal response to loss. Although grief is considered a natural reaction it can at times feel enormously painful, overwhelming and exhausting. Understanding grief and taking steps to address pain and loss are important in grief recovery.
Common and typical grief reactions include: Shock and disbelief, anger, guilt, sadness, fear, and depression. In addition to these psychological reactions many people report physical symptoms of grief such as fatigue, sleep problems, appetite changes, increased tension and various aches and pains.
Grief can resolve with the passage of time, however, in some cases, such as with cumulative grief, the passage of time may not be enough. The grieving process requires the acceptance of loss and expression of pain and sorrow. When there are multiple deaths people may feel overwhelmed and lose their sense of hope. They may develop apathy and a sense of “l don’t care”. They may develop a distorted or overly negative perception of themselves or their community, which interferes with the grieving process.
When there are several deaths in a short period of time some people say they don’t know where to begin or that they feel numb, as if they are experiencing an absence of emotion. This is not unusual and people need to know that there is hope. The first step is to take the time to express thoughts and feelings related to each death. This can involve talking to friends, family members, co-workers and other community members. Sharing grief makes the burden of loss easier to carry. Some people need to talk about the deaths more than others and there should be opportunity for this to happen. It helps to talk about your loss for as long as you feel the need. Be honest with your thoughts and feelings- there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Another strategy that helps is to get out and socialize, visit regularly with family and friends, or volunteer your time in the community- feeling useful and giving back helps to resolve grief reactions and makes the community a better place. Think about how you would like to help loved ones experiencing loss or how you would like to remember your loved one. In addition, self-care during times of sorrow is extremely important. Grief is a very strong emotional reaction and drains psychological and physical energy. Getting extra rest, eating well and exercising are strategies we can use to keep ourselves healthy during a stressful period.
Many people neglect themselves when grieving and often don’t feel like engaging in the daily tasks of life. It is important to have a healthy lifestyle even if you don’t feel like it. Although lethargy is common, giving in to these feelings and neglecting self-care can have detrimental effects. Isolating, withdrawing from others, refusing to talk about the loss and neglecting sleep and nutrition can lead to depression and anxiety. If you are experiencing hopelessness about the future, can not find enjoyment or pleasure in life, have thoughts of suicide, or have further questions about grief or mental health in general, please call Wholistic Health and Wellness (613-575-2341, ext 3100) or your family physician. There is help and hope for those experiencing cumulative grief.
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